This Is Quite Interesting

We have phrases that look perfectly normal to us:

• The bandage was wound around the wound.
• The farm was used to produce produce.
• The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
• We must polish the Polish furniture.
• He could lead if he would get the lead out.
• The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
• Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
• A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
• When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
• I did not object to the object.
• The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
• There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
• They were too close to the door to close it.
• The buck does funny things when the does are present.
• A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
• To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
• The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
• After a number of injections my jaw got number.
• Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
• I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
• How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

In what other language:

• Do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
• Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
• Can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
• Can you have a nose that runs and feet that smell?

It just goes to prove that English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why:

• When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
• There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
• English muffins weren’t invented in England nor French fries in France.
• Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
• Your house can burn up as it burns down, you fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm goes off by going on.

Finally:

• Why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
• If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese, so one moose, two meese?
• If you have a load of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?
• If teachers have taught, why haven’t preachers praught?
• Doesn’t it seem crazy, that you can make amends but not one amend?
• If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Adapted from a page I found HERE

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I have just joined a site called YouGov. In my spare time I answer a few questions about current affairs and I get paid for doing it!

From the YouGov website:

As a member of the YouGov Panel you will be invited from time-to-time to participate in surveys on topics ranging from from politics to painkillers to pensions. Each time you take part in a survey, you will have your virtual YouGov account credited with cash amounts depending on the survey’s length, or you may be entered into a prize draw. When you reach £50 in your account, YouGov will send you a cheque for that amount.

Simply click the YouGov.com link below or in the menu on the right, fill in a questionaire about yourself and you will receive £1.00 in survey credit just for signing up!

You can do as few or as many surveys as you choose, there is no fee and no minimum term to subscribe for. Most importantly (for me at least) is you complete surveys at a time that suits you, not when the the market researcher stops you in the street or calls whilst you are eating dinner.

YouGov.com

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For those that are young (or old) enough to care, Britney Spears has finally gone topless! Of all the places to do it, she has done so on her official website!

At the time of writing, Ms Spears is creating a “new official website”. On the temporary front page is a message of thanks to her fans for sticking by her “during this trying time”. Along with the letter is a picture of the pop star dressed only in a blonde wig and white gloves.

Click the image above to view the website as it was if you are reading this at a later date.

She’s only 28, but it seems like ages that we (well, some people) have waited for this moment. How long before she is posing for Playboy (Warning: link contains adult content)… only time (and media pressure) will tell. I, for one, am not holding my breath. Nor will I be rushing out to buy a copy if/when the time does come.

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This might not be of interest to the majority of readers, but those it does pertain to will find it so.

I have discovered that complaining to the big companies does one no favours.

I listed 3 items for sale on Ebay the Internet’s largest auction site at about 6pm on Saturday evening. I chose that time to take advantage of the early weekend surfers browsing for new items. I listed them for a 7 day duration to also catch the early weekend “bargain hunters” the next Saturday evening.

I used the online facilities provided at the site to make my auction listing, so as to not be penalised for using external software. I paid extra for a gallery listing, so my item would be more visable. I chose Paypal their credit card processing company as a method of payment to make it easier for potential buyers… in short I attempted to give Ebay the company as much money as I could for providing me with the service.

After completing the task of creating my listings, I went and had some dinner.

Just before retiring to bed, I thought I would have a look to see if I had any bids on my items. I was curious to see if my early listing ’strategy’ had paid off.

I went through the category listings, but could not find my items. I searched for words that I had put in the titles of my lots, but my items did not appear in the results.

After wasting about 15 minutes going through the maze they call a help section, I ran across a “Find Your Item” page. I entered my item numbers and received a message each time stating my item could not be located in the database. I was told that if I had just registered the item I should “wait a few minutes for the listings to update”.

I wondered what they meant by “a few minutes”, so emailed to ask. I explained that I had created 3 listings at approx 6pm and that my items were not visible at midnight. In the email I requested compensation for the loss of 6 hours of ‘prime-time’ traffic.

The next morning I checked the listings again and this time found all of my items. 2 had had a bid on them already, so it appears that if I had got them listed when I had expected them to be, I would have had more bids.

It is now Wednesday morning, I still have had no response to my intial question… instead I received an email informing me that my items have been deleted from the database, because of a “policy infringement”!

I must admit, I haven’t read through all of their policies, so I can only assume one of them states:
xx.xx You, as a seller, waives the right to complain about our service. This includes, but is not limited to: the delay in publishing of listings on any of our sites…

I say that, because the policy that the email refers to is being broken by at least 312 other listings (yes… I searched and counted!), so it appears I was targeted for complaining. Either that, or I am better at searching than their policy enforcement staff, in which case I offer this post as a letter of application of employment

I know this won’t get my listing put back on. I know it won’t stop the big companies from ’shitting’ on their customers, but it makes me feel better knowing that I, perhaps, can inform someone about what is happening in the world of big corporations.

Even if an Ebay auction house representative reads this and it causes them to think twice about pressing the delete button on just one future listing because of a ‘policy infringement’ that is being broken by hundreds of Power other Users, it would have served its purpose.

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Until recently I never fully understood how to tell the difference between male and female birds. I always thought it had to be determined surgically.

Now that I have discovered the secret to telling which is which, I thought I would share it with you.

Below is a link to a picture of two seagulls. Study them closely… See if you can spot which of the two is the female. You will be amazed at how easy it is to distinguish between the two sexes. It can be done. Even by one with limited bird watching skills.

Two Seagulls

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